happiness is...noticing that your friends have finally updated their blog.

:) (no hate mail please)

i copied this from the ginkworld site. it is not my creation, but it correctly states my drive.

who are we? well, we're born out of passion and rebellion; a passion for Christ and a rebellion of the "status quo" of the church. we're a place where we believe in being honest and direct when dealing with issues facing the church, our culture and ourselves. we are a voice for the emerging culture; seeking to find a faith that is meaningful, relevant and honest.

i just put this here, because most of the folks i know will say the same thing, however i just don't believe that their actions support this. Part of me says that it will always be that way, just like politics, or worship music styles, or even whether you prefer Dale, Jr. or Jeff Gordon. People just see things differently. i still love and support my friends that don't agree with me, but i must follow the passion i have based upon what the Father has shown me.

the other Kerri has started blogging again with a whole new site design, go check it out at onion layers.

I will overcome

I can see that my hands are trembling
I can see that my legs are weak
I can see that my head is spinning
but I will overcome

And I know that my heart is hurting
And I know that my soul, it aches
And I know that it seems I'm failing
but I will overcome

Oh Lord I am strong in You
Oh Lord I am wise in You
Oh Lord I can see in You
so I will overcome

Oh Lord I am loved by You
Oh Lord I am free in You
Oh Lord I am complete in You
So I will overcome
I will overcome

IT'S TIME TO KILL THE GOLDEN CALF

making reference to the israelites' idol of a calf made of gold, elder stephen said last night in a very emotional meeting of about 35 young people that it was time to kill the golden calf - meaning that the 6pm service at the soul cafe will no longer exist - until further notice. it seemed evident from his words that he had wanted to do this for at least several months if not longer. he said that because of the strife between the two services, which appeared to be mostly his, that this was the correct thing to do. all along, we were being encouraged by another elder to continue pressing onward. i guess i am the greatest of all fools to have believed that we had the support of the eldership.

one thing of note - this whole thing happened in record setting time - which should go down in some baptist world record book. in a nut shell (love that phrase) we had a meeting on wednesday, the elders had a meeting on thursday and by friday the calls were going out that it was over. all of this done pretty much on very little information or at least information from very limited sources. once again i am the greatest fool of all to think that such a major decision would hinge on such little discussion.

one understanding that i have experienced over and over in my days of church life is that we shoot our wounded. so many times i hear a preacher talk about how we are to be a hospital where people come to be healed - emotionally, spiritually, etc. that's all well and good, but what about the people that the church puts IN the hospital. it seems that for the most part the churches are just trading their wounded. this guy gets hurt and goes over to that church, and that guy gets hurt and comes over to this church. many times there is not any real healing if you look at the ones that you injure in the process. to hear a teenager in tears begging for the elders not to cancel his worship service, and having absolutely no idea what in the world the strife referrence is regarding, and having an elder say "sorry, that's the way it's going to be" is just amazing. last night the leadership put more folks in the hospital then they took out. i would never have believed it if i hadn't heard it myself. once again, i am the fool.

to those that find a home in another clay street service, please know that i am happy for you, really. my prayer is that the father places you in ministry that is both rewarding to you and allows you to grow deeper in relationship with him and those around you. to those that have been to the other services and don't belong, know that i understand (i attended one service for almost a year as the sound tech and even played guitar some, and still never felt at home - i did enjoy it at times, like i do other churches, but it still wasn't home). my prayer is that the father guides each of us to where he wants us. if it is simply to take a break and return to clay street, then i ask that he refine and change us to make the return joyful. if it is to pursue ministry in other areas then i pray that he direct us quickly so we can begin our healing process with another family. know that i love you and have enjoyed the journey so far, i'll keep you posted on the father's plans for me.

don't loose faith.

do you ever watch a sunset and then suddenly break into tears over its beauty? do you ever watch a sparrow build a nest and marvel at the skill it possesses? does it amaze you how good a fresh strawberry can taste? do you ever watch childbirth and think "wow, that's really gross".

me neither.

just one note of clarity - i don't mean to necessarily generalize boomers as the eldership or pastorship of the organization. while early on in my story maybe i did but at the end, the staff are completely supportive. the boomers i'm in reference to are actually of post modern age but have traded a vision for convenience.

ok, done talking about that. please email or call me if you have questions.

walk with the Father today. :)

the dream is dead

for those that don't know i've been a part of an organization that started from a dream that turned into a movement that turned into a church that turned into rubble. to those that remain, i wish you the best, but i abhor your lack of creativity, your lack of passion, your lack of personal spiritual growth, and your lack of desire to follow God into uncharted territory.

for more information, here is how it all happened. for this story post modern is really a mind set and while it would be more accurate to say modern representing a mindset than boomer representing an age, that's just the way i want to say it, so there. if none of this makes sense then go look at some pretty macs, this is all basically for my own therapy anyway:

a boomer had a dream
boomer shared dream with post moderns
boomer killed in plane crash
dream energized
boomers funded dream
post moderns built dream
boomers took over dream
boomers chased off post moderns
boomers started their own dream
boomers killed post modern dream
post moderns weep

and now it starts again
a post modern has a dream (at the moment that's all of the story)

you know it seems like i hear more and more each day about how much people hate their jobs. or maybe it is just where i work - dunno. part of me wonders why people stay in a relationship, in this case work, where they hate it, where they can't be creative, productive, or remotely satisfied. i know it is easier to just take the junk as long as a paycheck is involved, but why? shouldn't we want more?

as a sometimes do, i have to turn this into a churchy metaphor. so, why do people complain about their faith life when they could reach out for more. just like a job, it is completely up to them whether or not they want to change and do something meaningful and productive. why do people sit in church and complain about it and not work to make it better? why not first make yourself better and then maybe the church will be better? just some questions that i don't need answers to.

have a great week - K

i'm creating a video for tyler's end of school program and some of the songs i have considered are of tori amos. i am absolutely amazed at how she can make a piano sound and am almost convinced that hers has different keys on it than mine does. nathan i know i don't know the half of it concerning her talent and passion, and yes you have told us all over and over about it...and ok, you are right.

have a great week.

happy friday

it's been too long without a pic so here's one from the slide show i'm working on for tyler's school. :)

my buddy reggie just called and made me laugh. he is one of those folks that everytime i speak with him he makes me feel good. i guess as believers that is how it is supposed to work. now i just need about 10 more friends like him - thanks reggie

one more thing

oh, i forgot to mention that i booked tickets to south beach for both me and my wife to solutions(a business mtg for those that might not know). i figured that a few hundered dollars for a plane ticket is certainly cheaper than marriage counseling. Ok, i took too much of a leap here... from everything i have seen about south beach it looks like a place for a guy to get into trouble - semi-nude beaches, great clubs, don johnson, versace, need i say more. actually i haven't let my wife leave town for several years so i figured this might be a fun place to go.

i need a place to stay on sat night if anyone has any thoughts.

recap

ok, in a nutshell this has been my life for the last week

went to tampa, learned some stuff
painted the house, the wrong color
mowed the yard, it was almost a foot tall
cleaned the gutters, had grass higher than in the yard
visited a new church, a lutheran one
re-wired some lights, with new ballasts

with a little work i guess i could have turned this into haiku.

just fyi ~ i love itunes 4.5. love the new radio feature!

just so my mac friends don't think that i have committed the ultimate sin - that being mac blasphemy - i am currently reading this site called why macs are better than pcs.