things that go bump

last night an unidentified noise woke me up, no big deal other than not being able to figure out what it was. for me this is odd. my dad has taught me in so many creative ways to identify sights, sounds, etc with very little information, and this skill usually means that i can go back to sleep after figuring out where the noise originated. after a few minutes of processing, i got up and proceeded to my 5 yr old's room to do some investigation. when i got there i flipped on the light switch and waited for my eyes to adjust to the light.

after a few minutes i looked around and laughed. the room looked like it was the inside of a snow globe - like someone had picked it up and shook it violently - in other words...normal. short of a small car protruding through the window, i would never be able to find out what was out of place or where the noise had come from.

my question...why does our spiritual life look like that so often? why, when there is a noise of something broken or out of place or wrong (usually a warning signal) that we look and aren't able to find it? why does it sometimes take something so huge and dramatic to show us where the problems are? wouldn't it be better to keep our life in order so that we can get back on track when we notice something small? like why did David have to commit adultery and murder before he realized that he was off course? why didn't he hit the brakes when he first started to scan the roof tops for the bathing ladies?

happy new year blessings! K

BTW - i ended up replacing the hot water heater in my house this last weekend and it went much better than my roofing adventure (more about that later if anyone wants to know). if anyone needs help in this area, please call me. i actually had fun doing it. :)

glimpses

i just talked to a friend of mine that i met while summer youth pastoring in arkansas a bunch of years ago and was strongly encouraged by it. y'know i believe when we get to heaven we will be incredibly amazed at how the father was able to work even through our crummy lives. how one word of good that was said out of so many words of junk, was used to encourage someone or to help someone hurting or whatever. how cool it is when we are able to see the father's work while we are still able to do his work.

thank you father for that glimpse of you and your goodness. donnie i look forward to being able to spend time with you again one day and talk about all the catfish we caught.

PEZ (no, i mean PAX) Kerry

shame on you, kerry

i was just listening to some messages from a guy named j john from across the pond somewhere and i got excited about what he said. long story short - he said he had shown movies (of which one was The Godfather) during several church services and more people came to Christ during the "movie services" than all the other services of the year combined.

the reason this was interesting to me was that before our great exodus from the little local church, this idea had been brought to the leadership board about a movie night. this was not to be during the service mind you, but a separate evening. the answer received was "no, that is too secular of a thing for a church to do" and the idea was scrapped.

i guess you can draw your own conclusions, but apparently those of us with the movie idea were not too far off base as we were led to believe. thanks for the affirmation j john.

i think i have to replace the water heater in my home...anybody wanna help?

Yippee, Christmas is over and we all have survived (as far as i know at the moment). mine was excellent and i probably would not have changed a thing, but i'm still glad it's done. here's a close up just to show my excitement...i look just like nathan's dog abigail.

merry christmas

here's a cheesy little "i don't want to be at work the day before christmas" pic. may the holiness of the Father renew your soul. PAX

marked in the stars

we went to the bethlehem star presentation last night - i highly recommend it. for me it was an "in my face" realization that i have made God too small. not that i didn't think he could order the stars and the heavens, but in my mind that was probably just sunday school stuff. what was demonstrated to me last night, along with scripture, showed me that God's design is so much more than i could ever imagine. it also re-created a holy fear of awe and respect toward the father that i think so often is forgotten.

(from the website) For if the Star wasn't magic or a special miracle from outside of the natural order, then it was something even more startling. It was a Clockwork Star. And that is overwhelming. The movement of the heavenly bodies is regular, like a great clock. The Clockwork Star finally means that from the very instant at which God flung the universe into existence, he also knew the moment he would enter human history in the person of Jesus of Nazareth. He marked it in the stars. And from before the beginning of time as we experience it, God knew the very moment when Messiah would breath his last on the cross.

Jesus is "the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world."
Revelation 13:8

one of my good friends in the faith told me a few days ago that i shouldn't be "gone" from the (corporate) church too long. i completely respect this person and his thoughts, but i see the issue differently. please continue to pray with us and for us as we seek to be obedient to the new works of the Father in the texas hill country or wherever else he may want us. blessings and peace

now you tell me, am i right to have wanted a pic of this? this was taken after it was all over.

take the bait

tonight tyler had his kindergarten christmas program...or so we thought. when we got to the church - he goes to a lutheran private school - the pastor in charge said "thank you for attending tonights service, we ask that there be no photography of any kind because it is a worship service." WHAT!!! i'm here to see my 5 year old sing the wrong words to all the songs, make faces at me, and laugh on stage with all the other kids and this guy tells me that i can't take any pictures???? and where did the worship service thing come from?

after taking a breather and deciding that i can take pics after it is over, i got real sad...not for me, but for all those people that think that a house of GAWD (as this guy kept saying in his 20 minute dialogue during the program) is all about fake holiness and stuffiness. tonight should have been about fun and laughter and celebration instead of my boy getting in trouble because his 6' paper mache staff kept falling over. jesus said let the little children come, and play, and laugh, and climb all over me and he would have allowed people to take pictures if kodak (and lomo of course) had been around at that time.

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! I still can't believe it!! no pictures and a cheap bait and switch gospel routine on top.

quality, quantity, and a little egg nog

this christmas season is one of my family's first in many years to not be heavily involved in a church and i'm trying to process those feelings. usually this time of year means late night planning sessions, arguments over punch, finger sandwiches, parties, lighting, sound systems and when to have the official church christmas service or candlelight eve service or whatever...when all that is done, we try to squeeze in a little family christmas.

it's not that i didn't like all those things. one of my favorite all time worship moments was the christmas service at the soul cafe last year. many of us spent a bunch of time assisting the master (nathan) at making the service happen. we received joy from doing the work as well as joy from the service itself. i would do it all again if i could.

and now this year is different.

no corporate church, no program, no late night planning...just a handful of folks who are trying to love each other as christ demonstrated. not that this couldn't be a part of a larger story, it just happens not to be at the moment. i think it is all part of the Father trying to slow me down to talk to me. (yes, i'm still dealing with this issue). more later...

3 members of our community group have been involved in traffic accidents within the last 10 days. we no longer assume that those around us will always be there - we almost lost part of our family in each of the accidents.

don't get too busy to love each other. - Blessings.

where are we

i am just wondering why a rock star must do what the people of the most high God won't. i have heard bono say he is a believer, so no mean emails. PAX

bluebonnet street group

tonight we will be meeting at jillian's home for food and some get together time. maybe we will post some pics later. prayer will not be held at bluebonnet street. come pray, eat and laugh with us at jill's.

blessings

original angel biscuits

my gifted wife with some original stuff. oh, to have her talent. angel biscuits

my boy and his fish (yes, we let it go)
PAX

10 reasons why your church sucks

a classic article by pastor john of gink. it's worth a read if you have never seen it and if you have, read it again. you can find it here at the ooze site or at the gink site.

it's unfortunate that the word sucks and church can be appropriately used in the same sentence...let's be the history making generation that changes that.

ET anyone?

i'm usually not a big sci-fi fan that gets much enjoyment out of star-trek, dune or the latest 4 hour wannabe epic movie by kevin costner. however...the whole roswell incident thing fascinates me to no end and i enjoy watching shows about that. this last weekend i found myself glued to the sci-fi channel watching Steven Spielberg's mini-series taken. so far i have "invested" 12 hours of my life into the total of 20 hours of the series and i can't wait til tonite for another 2 hours for episode 7.

It is interesting to watch the drama of the characters unfold as they pursue their purpose in life, their search for happiness, their search for truth, and ultimately for life changing answers. While this drama is so fascinating to me because of the alien stuff, if i am honest with myself, i have to admit that i'm searching for the same things they are. not only that, but the journey of their search is interesting to watch and i guess exciting to experience. if all the answers were given in the first hour, then what fun would it be. i guess our journey in life could be viewed the same way.

Don't drop your link

i work for the local phone company where life usually is pretty slow and routine, and that's ok with me.

this morning was different. sometime during the night, a microwave link went down and now this place looks like an ant bed that someone just stepped on. people are answering calls as fast as they can, techs are driving all across the country, engineers are scratching their head, and we still we don't have the issue resolved. i don't know a whole bunch about microwave technology, but i know that if one goes down, you can't use some ATM machines, buy gas with a credit/debit card, make long distance calls, connect to some web sites, conduct business, etc. one little connection goes bad and life as you know it stops.

i can't help but think about the picture this paints about prayer. as followers of Jesus, we have got to stay plugged in to the source. we can't allow our connection to the Truth go down. we've all seen good people and good ministries lose direction and purpose by losing their connection, so don't drop that link. PAX.

The heavens declare

was the star of Bethlehem really an astrological event? was Jesus so important that even the heavens declare his glory as the scriptures teach? check out the Bethlehem star presentation site. if you are in Texas, there is a chance you could see the presentation live. for those others that have to endure living elsewhere, you are stuck with the site.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. -the writings of Isaiah in chapter 40

we will not be having a group at our house this week. you can be still praying as we will. hopefully we can pick this back up again soon.

Don't go away mad

to steal a line from an old motley crue song...don't go away mad, just go away...

so when people start to leave a ministry, do you:
a) pray for them because they must have something wrong and it is better for them to leave
b) hold the door open for them to assist their leaving and say "we'll pray for you"
c) tell everyone that it was God's will for them to leave, so let them go
d) thank God that you are relieved of the responsibility of ministering to them
e) go find them, love them, and walk with them

i have never been involved in a ministry that did letter "e". why is that? surely this must be important otherwise we wouldn't have the parable of the lady searching the entire house for one mite. i'm not sure how much a mite translates to in today's economy, but a person must be more valuable than that coin. and how about the parable of the lost sheep. the shepherd left the 99 in search for the 1. i'm open to the idea that maybe that one had a better offer from another shepherd...you know the grass is always greener in another pasture...but still the shepherd should go find out what the real story is. you don't just ignore the one or it becomes two, and then 20, and then you wake up and you are no longer a shepherd. this being the case i would question if that person was ever a shepherd to begin with.

the teachings of jesus are there for a reason. how can we reach out to the lost if we can't even reach out to each other?

as i toured the shops of Abilene this last weekend i looked for a really cool, intense evangelistic sticker for my car...i realized there was no such thing. i did however end up with a great ozzy window sticker in the shape of a cross. i really think this fits me better.

Doxaqeren

i'm excited about what the Father is creating in Austin. pray for the leadership community as they seek to be obedient. for more information check out their blog.

monday blessings!

Dianna and I got to spend the last few days in Abilene, Texas. From what I’ve seen here, this place is the rhinestone in the buckle of the bible belt. That being the case we thought we would find some great alternative or warehouse worship places or some outstanding creative ministry ideas. WRONG or at least the folks at the christian book stores didn’t have any idea of any.

I did learn of a ministry called Isaiah 58 which feeds the 1000+ homeless of the area and actually trains them to find work. Taking it to the streets, Jesus in action.

Home is where the heart is?

Interesting statement. As a believer where is our heart and subsequently where is our home? Now of course from an earthly standpoint this is easily understood and usually readily identified on a map. However, from a spiritual standpoint, this is neither.

My soul, longing deeply for the fulfillment of the Father, seeks the movements of the Father or seeks to be a part of what the Father is doing. As we seek the Father and our soul is filled, we find deeper meaning and fulfillment in our spiritual person. Or so my theory goes. But did I mention that the flesh doesn't necessarily understand this, nor does it desire to follow the Father, especially when it involves risk or uncomfort or uncertainty?

Well, that’s where I find myself. Just as a child plays the hide and seek game with the “you’re getting warm, warmer, hot, you found it rules” it seems that at the moment the further I am from home the “warmer” things become. Could it be that the Father is preparing me for a move away from my physical home in order to draw me closer to a spiritual home? Pray for us on this one.

my wife is in on the blogging action now. check out her words at angelbiscuits.

may you savor the goodness of the Father today.

Rest is an action word

the irony is that for me to rest, i have to work really hard at it. i am reminded of my need to rest quite often - most recently from a friend across the atlantic. the Father told her to tell me because i wouldn't stop long enough to listen to Him tell me. anyway, i was driving around town last night and this song was on a CD i made a long time ago. i guess he knew that i would need this song when the time was right. not the world's greatest song, just the one to minister to me at the right time. the song is rest by skillet. may you rest in the shadow of the almighty

still, soft quietly spoken voice, that persistently calls my name
and quickens my heart to come

and I rest in the shelter of Your love, and I rest in the wonder of Your Grace
and I rest in the shelter of Your love, and I rest in the wonder of You

embraced in the promise of You, is rest for the weary soul
releasing all that is mine, i reach for You

take all the old and You make it new, everything I give to You
you're the hope that can pull me through, hallelujah

i'm sitting here at my desk sending some last minute emails listening to a distant scratchy radio play "I hope you dance" by martina mcbride. (not my choice of stations, but then again it's not my radio) here's my rambling thought...sometimes i think that we as believers forget to dance, to suck the marrow out of life, to be alive, you get the point. we should dance with life, dance with our families, dance with the journey that we are on as believers, dance just because it's fun. if we are ever going to have anything to give the world, let's figure out how to dance and enjoy ourselves. we already know the final score, and we win. this is a little different than the joy ramblings down lower, but kinda in the same vein. anyway, grab your family, head to the country, smell the flowers, and dance.

ask the Father to lead.

My soul thirsts for you

when scripture talks about abundant life, does anyone think they have a handle on exactly what that means? surely jesus didn't waste words in john 10:10 when he spoke of it, but what exactly does it look like?

i'm not sure to either of the above two questions, but i know that i want it and i will seek to find it. maybe this whole seek and find, knock and the door will be opened thing is part of the young lover romance part of the equation. the Father wants to be pursued as in a love story and whether we admit it or not, each of us want to be part of a real love story.

whatever this looks like and feels like i'm betting it is pretty good.

Joy

we were talking in our family group last night about joy and it almost seemed the consensus was that seeking joy is a lot of work. we couldn't help but wonder if joy should have been part of the package deal. you know, the stuff that osmotically just happens. I'm a believer, therefore I'm joyous.

Of course we do understand the reasoning behind the process that our faith takes us through, but still we wonder.

Quack, quack - waddle, waddle

as believers, can we learn to see things as they truely are, but pray for things to be as they should? you know if something looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck - then don't call it a rabbit. if a rabbit is what you believe it should be, then pray for a rabbit, but don't just ignore the duck and pretend he's a rabbit.

this probably doesn't make any sense at all...

if it's dark in your house you turn the light on, right? if it's cold outside you put on a jacket. you don't sit in the dark and talk about how nice the wall paper is - hello, you can't see it in the dark! let's don't do the same in our families, churches, ministries or whatever God has called each of us to do. if something is broke - acknowledge it through prayer and with your prayer community. pray for it to be fixed or for you to see it in a different light. pray for the glory of the Father to make it's presence known in the situation you are in.

last thought - if your ministry is visible to others and they know it's broke, be real and acknowledge the situation. bring those people in while you are trying to fix it and allow them to be a part of God's resolution. don't wait to reach them until everything is perfect and don't pretend like everything already is perfect while you're reaching them. show your faults so that the Father may be glorified through you. ...and keep praying.

Thoughts from across the pond

read these thoughts from andy and go to their site to read the rest.

i hate the idea of preaching if i think of it as standing in front of a church and talking. but if i think of it as writing things on a blog that others can read and comment back to me on, then cool. its makes me read the bible, look things up, think about what it says, "meditating upon scriptures" if you will. and all this in a way that's me, that allows me to worship the Father in Spirit and in Truth.

andy and bea

Why Pray

Because we need miracles more than we need strategies
Because the world is a vacuum waiting to be filled
Because the MTV generation is lost in space
Because we've seen the end of the movie
Because this is not the dress rehearsal
Because the poor are getting poorer
Because we're aliens in the world
Because we're too sensible
Because boredom is sin
Because the Father
is worth it.

copied from 24-7 prayer. go take a look.

p2p community

it really is fun to see an idea develop among a faith community and then find that someone else has already gone there and prepared the way.

last night our community/family group got together to discuss vision. it was completely fascinating to see the vision develop as one person would talk and another person's face would light up because they had a similar idea. God at work.

today at the phone company, i was reading the new articles on gink and i found one that was exactly what we were discussing - church, in a p2p context. apparently i am not the first to want a church/community with 1/3 less calories, most of which being the established leadership hierarchy. i'm not looking for someone to control me - rather i'm looking for someone to empower me to cut loose - to step out into the darkness and be guided by only the light of the Father. this concept of p2p communities is exciting and i look forward to developing community with folks anywhere in the world that want to be a part of it.

back to gink to read some more stuff. Blessings!!!

Warning

i was watching my fill of The Learning Channel this morning when the following notice came on the screen - WARNING, GRAPHIC BIRTH FOOTAGE, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED!

now why do i immediately think corporate church when i read that? why is the church so afraid to see something new, a new spiritual birth, to experience a new move of God, to reach people who have never been reached before? why does the church only want to go as far as the money will allow?

will our God not provide? if we seek Him will we not find Him? and might it look a little graphic compared to the air conditioned, pressed, perfectly lit sanctuaries of our predecessors?

i will seek!
i will find!
my God will provide!
let's get graphic!

Another addiction?

just what i need...something else to be addicted to. this blog thing is way out of control for me. ever since the first episode of survivor, i have been sucked in to the real life, messy melodrama as seen on tv type stuff. actually i was fine with the blog thing until my buddies nathan and shannon got involved - now i must also.

now i can't wait to log on (yep, still have dial up) and see who went to the store or who has posted the latest bit of meaningless trivia...and i love every minute of it.

i better stop here and call for that shrink appointment on monday. happy saturday to all.

Open our eyes

Father open our eyes so that we may see people as you do. Forgive us for being lazy and not sharing the hope we have found in You.

so what do you do? you see a whole group of folks that are are blinded by the light of mediocrity - as if that was really a light? come on! taste and see that the Lord is real - and that the Lord is good! quit buying meals that have sat under the heat lamp way too long. quit buying meals that have sat under a heat lamp at all! get real, get dirty, pull the charcoal out and light a fire.

do we as believers have to follow someone else's vision where they are the hero and we fulfill their dreams and hopefully somewhere along the way we get to do something for God too? why, when we are obedient to follow the Father do we get criticized because we didn't check in with the local clergy first. in the great spiritual pyramid, doesn't God sit up top somewhere? or was he supposed to check in with the local clergy too?

no more middle ground, no more ruts, no more be careful what you say, no more inquisitional tongue lashings for agendas that i don't support and never will.

you will turn back to Me and ask for help, and I will answer your prayers! -the writings of jeremiah

it was for freedom that Christ has set us free - no longer to be subject to the yoke of slavery!

that being the case, why does church, the very institution created by man for seeking Christ, seem like such slavery? maybe i answered my own question in the asking, that being "the institution created by man." i struggle with the feeling of freedom that i now have, being currently separated from any organized church corporation. why don't i feel like i'm missing something, when in fact i've never felt more alive. i'm free. that really bothers me and maybe that was the point the Father was trying to show me.

i desire to be free in Christ. i pray that i will be obedient to lead others to the same freedom. i am free.