i guess growing up sometimes leaves little to be desired- like the feeling that you miss the person you used to be? maybe it was the innocence, or the carefree attitude, or just the hope that the best years of your life are right around the corner. whatever it may be, waking up and finding yourself deep in the middle of nowhere is a harsh reality.
i went for a drive tonite. i love to drive, really do. it started off with just a desire to find a cd that i heard on the radio (and yes i know that i could have downloaded it from iTunes cheaper) and i found myself on one of kerr county's famous deer dodging and tire squealing, curvy beyond all reason roads. And then i remembered that i could turn the a/c off, turn the radio up (to damaging levels), downshift a gear more than i should have and haul ass.
i did just that.
it was good.
it's weird. i've been driving this small SUV for almost 2 years yet i had forgotten what fun, fulfillment, and joy could come from a little over the edge, somewhat dangerous, driving and i guess to some degree i had forgotten the same thing about life. by nature i'm a risk taker. i love the thought that my next move could be my last or it could be my best ever. that's where i think i am. about to take some risks. about to stretch out to see if i can find who i used to be. about to start over in some ways that i just can't talk about yet.
i think i'm gonna hope again that the best years of my life are just around the corner and i can't wait to tell you about them.
PAX
