just fyi ~ i love itunes 4.5. love the new radio feature!

just so my mac friends don't think that i have committed the ultimate sin - that being mac blasphemy - i am currently reading this site called why macs are better than pcs.

and then there's me

did you ever play the game on sesame street about which item doesn't belong? well here is one for you. take a look at me sandwiched between the president of syniverse technologies and john major, former prime minister of great britain. oh, and then there's the olympic guy. now you tell me the Father doesn't have a sense of humor. i can almost hear the sesame street music playing in the background.

'cause i'm big now

do you remember when you were little and you wanted ice cream for breakfast and you were told no for whatever reason and you said to yourself that when you were big you would eat whatever you wanted? well today is my day to celebrate being big, not fat mind you - i celebrate that every day- just big.

i started the morning off with chocolate cake. the kind with big chocolate chips and some sort of gooey icing. then i went to the grocery store to purchase one of my favorite drinks, Stewart's Original Cherries 'n Cream Fountain Classics (with a 6 word name you know it must be good). I then purchased a coffeecake for the office of which i ate too much for everyone to be able to partake. I shouldn't leave out that i rode the basket from the store to my car. that always makes folks look. usually you don't see people in business dress riding a shopping cart, but today is my "I'm big day" so i can do whatever i want.

hang on a minute...i think i'm feeling a little ooey... gotta run!!!

tiny tyler's tavern

i came home from lunch the other day and tyler had a sign on the front door that said "Ty's BBQ" and he met me there with a menu that he had created. inside the house he had a table set up with food, drinks, and more of his created signs like kitchen, do not enter, closed, and so on. of course he didn't cook or anything like that, he just took the food and figured out a way to market it. before i get any child abuse emails...no, i didn't make him watch the apprentice with me and i don't take him to tony robbins seminars, he just did this on his own.

anyway it is fun to see a barely 7 year old be creative in this way. it makes me wonder in big ways what he may be when he gets older. i sometimes see him as a televangelist except that his preacher hair is real and his ethical code too high. then i see him as a lawyer, but i come back to the hair and ethical thing again. how about the circus? maybe he could replace barnum and bailey's greatest show on earth with a whole new version. yep, that's it. i'd better start teaching him to play the accordion and pipe organ. hmmm.

i walked into tyler's room last night and he was reading his new bible given to him by the gideons. it was neat to see him thumbing through it. of course when he said "daddy, it has too many johns in it, did i get a messed up one?" i just had to laugh. at least he was observant enough to notice.

my dad is down here visiting for a few days and whenever i speak with him i am reminded how young he seems to be. it's kinda funny because he has been pastoring and youth pastoring a chinese church in CA for almost 15 years and he has always connected with multiple age groups. i laugh when i see pastors my age that talk and act like 75 year old preachers. is that supposed to be more God-like? it just bores me silly and just plain seems fake. someone please straighten me up if i ever get like that.

i haven't spoken much of my wife's new job, but it really is somewhat of a miracle, except that she is not getting paid, that part sucks. long story short...she is the interim principal at a lutheran school. that sounds well and good, but the irony is that the school is part of a church of controlling, elderly german lutherans. i mean, you don't wash the windows without permission, really. for us we just don't do that. i mean one of the reasons we quit going to a local baptist church was because of the politics and rules and they are 10 times as progressive as this lutheran community (actually progressive is not a word to describe either place). well 2 weeks into the job i must admit that the folks at this church are amazing. they have showed complete support for dianna and what she is doing. they have come into the church and found me with a drill in my hand and a deer-in-the-headlights look and have asked to help. we have routinely refused to ask the committees or follow the "rules" (sorry, i know i use quotes a lot and that probably bugs some of you) of the board or whatever in order to expedite the desperate needed change and God has blessed it. i don't mean to say that he has blessed our breaking of the rules, just that he has covered the whole process in such a way that it works for both parties. dianna has done an amazing amount of work in a very short time and so far the congregation just wants to know how to help. i've never experienced this in any religious organization anywhere.

it's one of those things where the Father must just be laughing at me with all the post modern books and websites i like to frequent and then he teaches me a lesson from a 90 year old german lady (really, she is 90!). i am so thankful to be in the place of blessing that we are. true the money could be better, but the return is already excellent. i'm sure you'll be reading more about this over the next few weeks.

breathe!

big, big meeting going on upstairs today...one that may determine if i stay an employee of FSW. hmmm, maybe i should be doing something besides blogging...

hey go look at the holy cross lutheran school site that i put up. it's only a one pager while i work on something better. anyway, i hate sites that suck so hopefully this one has some class (no pun intended). PAX

ok, so here i am at my 2nd little league baseball game and this other coach comes over and says "NO MORE T" (as in T-ball). well, that's fine and all, but that is kinda the point of the league. my kid is barely 7 weighing a little more than the bat and now he's supposed to just grow up and play like the big boys. what the hell. first i want to absolutely injure this coach in some very painful manner and then i want to scream at all the parents for letting this happen - neither of which i did. just for the record, the rules allow for the T to be used.

did i drink too much and mistakenly pray for patience again??

i heard from two good friends of mine today that shared what God was doing in their lives. it was probably the most refreshing thing i have heard in quite some time. i guess for me it seems that the christian "walk" is at times more like the christian hampster wheel. sometimes you walk, sometimes you run, sometimes a little energy is spent, sometimes you give it everything you've got. regardless though it seems as if you you stay in the same place. the question then becomes, is it God or me that is causing me to stay in one place, one situation, one whatever. ok, so that may be a rhetorical question, but then again, is it?

dunno, and i'm sure not going to venture an answer tonight. i will sleep soundly just being comforted that the Father still moves among his people. that's all i need right now.

had to do a little guy stuff yesterday, so my buddy nick and i went out in the country to do some target practice. we took a handful of .22 rifles and pistols, deer rifles, military rifles, and various other weapons of minor destruction. it was a perfect day. well, any day that you go into the sporting goods section and buy ammo buy the 500 count (and of course one box is never enough) you know it's going to be fun. before it was all over we even managed to launch a flaming butane tank about 100 ft into the air - now that's how a country/city boy has fun. and i should add that we had lunch at one of those places where the bathrooms are labeled Bucks and Does. whatta day!!

gee, another week flown by...

i did go to the final 4 championship game on monday nite and had a great time. i took a local clergyman, friend, and major basketball fan, david willingham, with me. we had a great time of talking about our ideas of ministry, truth, faith, and even some sports. it was a sweet time.

on a different note - dianna is now the interim principal at the school tyler attends - holy cross lutheran school - the place where the pastor slapped the kid during a chapel service a few years ago. anyway, the school is trying to re-make itself. they have a new pastor that has a business background and years of ministry in the watts area of LA, they have hired a local PR person to help with the bad press, and we just had roadrunner internet installed, and a new network is going in, and we are going to buy a bunch more Macs (notice that i capitalized this word which means that i hold it in high regard - caps don't show up too often in my blog - never mind the LA one, it just works better that way) and i am even looking at the Mac PowerSchool product - if you are a teacher and you know anything about PS then please let me know.

that's about all. we still don't know anything about tyler's surgery...that's a really weird deal.

have a happy thursday.

final 4 anyone

had an interesting weekend...

i received a call from a friend on friday asking if i would be interested in 4 tickets to the NCAA final 4 playoffs in san antonio. as it turned out, they had 2 tickets to see the playoffs on sat and 2 tickets to the championship on monday. believe it or not, i had to make some calls to find someone who could / would go. dianna and i ended up going on sat and had a really good time. the folks we were with is the president and wife of a company that i work closely with in my wireless adventure and we were able to talk a little business, a little family, and a little of everything else. overall, a really nice time - except that the team we both wanted to win...didn't.

monday should also be a great time as i will be taking a local minister who loves b-ball. i'll enjoy the visit with him more than the game. i'll fill you in on the details of that later on.

now go plant something in your garden. PAX!

strangely theraputic

no this is not my child, mine has greater finger dexterity

no surgery next week. that's the message we received from the children's hospital about an hour ago. we don't know why or when it might be rescheduled, just that it won't be next week.

more later

ok, i've made a small change to my template on the right - i've added a link to family pictures. if you happen to venture there you can see various things like tyler's earlier surgeries (not complete yet) and the latest CT scans. i put these out there not so everyone would feel sad but because i can give the link to parents that we will meet next week in houston. these pics will help them to understand what they may be in for down the road. it's a weird type of club to belong to, but when your kids are screwed up in the same way you can instantly connect regardless of any race, religion, nationality or whatever. hmmm, what an idea.

some of you have asked so here is our plan for next week:

Sat 3/27 - go to Houston
Sun 3/28 - have a real slow relaxing day (this always helps going into the surgery)
Mon 3/29 - surgery (in morning)
Mon & Tues - be in hospital
Wed 3/31 - check out of hospital if we didn't escape on Tues
Thurs 4/1 - head back to Kerrville

before i write any more about surgery, know that i am so thankful for those that have loved on us in incredible ways. many of you have treated us as your own family (the good part of being family that is) and have really encouraged us along the way. one of my favorite things to remember was being given a blank signed church check to pay for our motel stay. now i don't necessarily recommend ever giving someone a blank check, but it certainly made things easier. i will remember the love that was shown to us long after any bad experiences of a hospital stay. thanks for being the hands of the Father to us. PAX!

HI BJ!

we are having a garage sale tomorrow and for me that is about as lovely as showing up to church in your dirty underwear - that's right, not just underwear, but dirty ones! while i was digging through my closet i found some of my college notebooks that i had been holding on to. not sure why, as i never really felt that i fit in (at Baylor U.), but somehow i didn't want to let them go. anyway off to the dump they go and in a weird way it is really a cleansing of some sort. ok enough of that stuff.

while i was digging through one notebook i found this - not sure who wrote it.

i am only one
i cannot do everything
but i can do something.
what i should do
and can do
by the grace of God
i will do.

i kinda liked it.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a driver’s license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a driver’s license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

spent some time today listening to some folks talking about raising daughters and the struggles they are or have experienced. truth is, i was upset when i found out that we would be having a Tyler instead of a Rebecca. certainly this was no surprise to the Father as he knew that i was better suited to raise a boy than a girl. i certainly hope to have the chance to have a baby girl in the family, i just guess it will have to be with a grandchild. WOW - i just referrenced being a grandparent. i feel really old now. sob.

the big 7

today is a big day for tyler - it's his birthday and he thinks he has earned the right to run the planet or at least a small household. this afternoon his class at school will be having a pirate party; yes i know he has watched one too many johnny depp movies, but who hasn't. it should be a lot of fun and i don't have to clean up the backyard for the party, so YEAH! one of the games they will play is pin the patch on the pirate. this is a new game for our household so we had to make the game pieces up. tyler was all too willing to pose as our pirate.

what a day -

my sister's baby Macy has just been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. to learn more about CF, go here.

my bride is back in the blogger game again. yippee, she is certainly more of a writer than i'll ever be.

"If we are to lead a life that is open to change, we will most likely find ourselves traveling down paths that we never expected, but that lead us to places we have always wanted to be."
-- William C. Hammond

what a weekend - already we have watched our last basketball game of the season, pulled a bunch of cat5 cable for a network at the my son's school, mounted a big hook through the rock of the school for the cable drop (those lutherans are going to be mad when they see what we did to their 80 year old building), mowed the lawn, that's right, my front yard was already close to a foot high, and spent some quality time with my buddy nick. today i don't think i'll be as productive, however we started the morn off with some music downloads from itunes and some t-shirt research, so who knows. by the way, here is our latest find. PAX!

the passion of the Christ

thanks to my friend kerri and fbc for giving us tickets to go see the passion movie last night, here are some of my thoughts..

i guess growing up southern baptist we never really talked about what crucifixion really is, as was evidenced once again by the traditionals that filled the theater last night. many still dressed in their "sunday best" (do they sleep in those clothes?). the congregation looked and acted like your basic 11am sun morning crowd. the packages of kleenex being opened could be heard as soon as the opening music score started - these guys have watched too much tv - probably the same crowd that gives over their life savings to folks like benny hinn.

Ok, on to my review.
First, i would say that this movie is probably more for christians than it is a catch all evangelistic piece. and praise God for that. it is about time that those that follow Christ clue into what the sacrifice actually was. the truth of the matter is that i was relatively clueless as the next person until i joined clay street (AKA The Soul Cafe.) i am so thankful to those that had gone before us like nathan, stacy, and shannon for opening up my eyes and making it all become new and alive all over again. strangely enough, people routinely share their frustration with us (the clay street night folks) that our worship is too dark and dealing with too much of Jesus' suffering and not enough of the "feel good" type of happy Jesus stuff. well this gibson movie may be the best thing for us since our purchase of the Mackie 32 channel board. did i say something about a review????

back to the movie.
one of the things that i am most thankful for is that mel gibson is catholic - using the stations of the cross the catholics really seem to have a handle on the whole process of the suffering where most protestants, from my experience, usually want to get away from the idea of the cross and talk only about the idea that he was raised from the grave. certainly a great point, but don't leave the suffering out - i identify with that much more easily than that of raising from the dead. the other thing that catholics have on us is their respect (not deification, mind you) for mary, the mother of Jesus. most of the tear jerking moments came from their interaction and flash backs and for me it completely worked. it was a great reminder that Jesus was all man as well as all God and it made for a good escape from the violence, albeit a more emotional road at times.

the movie is mostly likely everything you hear about on tv. all the good, all the bad. both critics are somewhat correct. keep in mind that without the holy spirit, the movie just simply looks like a crazy man being killed by crazed church people. with that understanding, the anti-semitism critique is somewhat accurate as is the gratuitous violence. being a believer is different of course because you know more of the story. like i mentioned earlier, there is a lot that the movie doesn't tell about Jesus, so don't expect unbelievers to beat a path to your congregation just because they saw this movie. certainly folks will come to know Christ, but don't rely on this movie to do all of the work for you.

at the end of the movie it was clear to many of the tormenters that Jesus was who he said he was and that was what stirred me. To see God move (the earthquake, the dark sky, the temple veil ripped) even on screen, was a big deal to me. I wanted to yell the famous drew barrymore line from charlies angel's "Now that's kicking your ass!" but didn't think the ladies around me could handle any more trauma for one night. When it was over we quickly made our way out. i didn't want to stick around and listen to any folks' opinion, i wanted to process it all with my own family. Of course being that we did get free tickets, we did have to stay at the end for a few comments from the local clergy, kinda like having to take the time-share compound tour just to receive your free steak knives.

overall i think this is a great movie released at a great time. i am certainly glad i saw it and i think everyone (above the age of about 15) should see it, but i don't know that i ever want to watch it again. who knows. i am sure i'll be one of the first to purchase the dvd, i just may never open it.

a room at the inn

we had a big answer to prayer this morning when some friends of ours in houston said we could stay with them during the surgery. we actually stayed with them for the last one and it worked out perfectly. this will save us a ton of money that we will most likely need for other things. PTL.

well today is the opening day of the passion movie and looks like i have to wait til april to go see it. here in kerrville all the churches have bought out the theaters for the next several weeks. i guess not being part of any organized religious institution may at times have its drawbacks. oh well, i can still go to the ash wednesday service at the local catholic compound, i certainly am looking forward to that.

have a happy wednesday.

i am back at home finally...because the day was so nice, we decided to take a drive. here are some of the pics we shot during the day. have a great weekend.

i'm in sunny florida today where it is supposed to be warm and sunny. well, it's sunny, but not warm. oh, well. i had the opportunity to attend a hockey game last night where i was able to watch the tampa lightning win a great victory over (some other team). At the last minute i was invited to a box section with all the vittles a guy could want - i must say it is the only way to watch a sport, oh did i mention that i got to sit in a leather chair...

i'm supposed to be paying attention in this training class so i'd better cut this short before i get busted (i type too loudly, everyone is looking at me).

have a great week.

The date has been set

ok, so let me catch up. the texas children's hospital called this morning to recommend tyler for his next surgery and we set the date for march 29th. we are still unclear as to how involved this will be or how long the hospital stay will be or how to even discuss it with tyler. he knows that this is likely to happen, but up until now has always had a hope that it wouldn't be needed. pray for him that he will not stress out over this one - leave that to us.

yesterday i was informed that i have a new boss (again for the 4th time in 10 months) - bill stacy. he is currently the director of marketing for us which means that he likes to spend money. our hope is that he will allow us to spend our way back to success. i know it sounds like a republicanesque type of idea, but when it comes to technology, the biggest spender is usually the winner.

at clay street we have had an electrician there for about a week running new lines and re-wiring switches and what not. i am excited to finally have a ton of this done. of course while verifying that the new electrical does in deed work, i discovered that the sacred mirrored ball has indeed experienced some sort of abuse. with the spot light burnt out and the tiny little carabiner that holds the ball to the rotor missing, my stress level has reached an all time high (not really). i am certainly convinced that the longer you are involved in christian ministry, the longer the list of names of people you need to kill, if you could ever find the time. i guess with such little time, it would be better to spend time teaching the passion of christ instead of anything else of such a destructive nature.

what else? oh yeah. my friend jeremiah has redone his blog page and of course it looks great. it is becoming more evident each day that i am going to have to break down and learn some code so i don't have such a chump blog site anymore, but there again, so little time.

have a great week.

ad campaign for clay street

ok, so let me know what you think and yes i know, my feedback option still doesn't work, sorry. by the way, it is still being worked on so you have to endure the layout guides, they obviously won't appear in production. the logo is nathan's handiwork, i can't take credit for that.

i'm in (not really sunny) long beach, california for the rest of the week visiting with my dad and going to a telecom conference in san diego. we visited probably the hippest library i have ever seen, complete with electronic everything as long as it had the word mac on it - really i don't think there was a pc in the whole complex - note to self.

we crossed a picket line to buy some groceries, visited the most excellent video production system of any ministry i have ever seen (i tried to get out the door with a new sony dv cam, but got caught), and ate some great sea food. we have had a really good time.

today we are on our way to san diego, one of my favorite places on the earth. i am so looking forward to it

doesn't play well with others

ok, so i klepto'd the title from a bumper sticker, but it fits.

all my life i have wanted to play keyboard in a band or by myself or whatever. i haven't really worked hard at that goal, it's just something i've wanted to do. kinda like watching the olympics and saying "i wish i could be an olympic skater" but reality says you have two left feet and you live 250 miles from the nearest patch of artificial ice.

well i've been given to opportunity to play keyboard at clay street and i so want to do it. long story short is that 35 years of playing my own thing translates into the fact that i can't follow rhythms and beats of normal everyday musicians - which is pretty important. it's a real hard pill to swallow 'cause deep inside i can play, but i play to my own metronome. part of me says that the music is so good already that i don't want to take a chance of messing it up, and part of me says to quit making excuses and dodging a chance to learn something. anyway, hopefully the father can use me in this area somehow.

we don't have a verdict just yet but you can certainly tell from the photos that something is amiss. we should hear from the doctor later in the week concerning what they want to do.

the picture on the left is tyler's bad side, the picture on the right is his good side and how a normal shoulder should look.

reggie asked me to fill in on bass this next week and i am so excited to be able to play matt redman's song "blessed be your name" - one of my new favorites. yippee.

we had a cat scan of tyler's shoulder and upper torso this morning. lemme tell you - there's nothing like doing an internal fly-by of all the major organs of your son. i was certainly impressed as i watched on the monitor. unfortunately the scan seemed to show exactly what we thought...his right shoulder is messed up...the term FUBAR comes to mind, but then i'm not a doctor so i shouldn't use technical terms like this, huh?

the 5th time's a charm

we made it to houston and back safely - ptl - it was nasty weather for most of the trip.

the surgery that we thought we would have to have in a few months has been changed to another one. because we are literally on the edge of the medical science in this area, the protocol changes periodically. apparently since our last appointment, the childrens hospital's 3D rendering software for cat scans has changed dramatically and now they can see what the root cause of the problem is and not just a symptom. the doc felt certain that he knew what the problem was, but just to be sure he has ordered one of these new scans. after this surgery (a removal of part of the shoulder bone) tyler should have much more range of motion with his arm. we are certainly pleased with the new discovery, but at the same time dismayed that we have to go through this again. it never gets easier, the pain just grows deeper.

fate awaits

we return to the Texas Children's Hospital in Houston on Thursday of next week to determine if Tyler needs more surgery. please pray that he doesn't need this next one (his 5th surgery).

i think i am comforted more by the questions than i am the answers. or maybe it is just that i don't really trust those giving the answers, dunno.

by the way, i am working on the feedback part of my blog, i just haven't placed the tags in the right area. don't give up hope.

Happy New Year!

I thought i'd start the new year with a bang and write on my blog - so here it is.

:) Kerry

had my usual wednesday guys meeting earlier in the week and while there we talked about the christmas service on the 21st. we have been talking about showing pictures of people's childbirth moments (directly after birth, not the Discovery Channel rated R type stuff) and i brought up that we need to remember that for some folks childbirth is not a positive emotional time but a very painful time. no sooner had i said anything, one of the guys there said "i knew you'd bring that up, i was just waiting for it" - like this was my own personal prison and i was all too eager to lock everyone else up in with me. wow, and these are my so-called "christian" friends.

you know, maybe i'm completely wrong and subconsciously am trying to spoil everyone else's perfect birth moment experience, but the way i look at it, the Father gave us our experience for a reason. one of those reasons was to make us (Dianna and I) sensitive to others who have had issues in this area. i don't think it is too much to ask that church service planners remember this and keep in mind that there may be others out there that don't connect the way their perfect little family experience does.

want examples...ok, how about the viola's who had their son die during delivery when the cord wrapped around his neck, about 2 years ago this month. how about the behrends who had their young child die during a swimming accident last summer and now they have to spend their first christmas with only his memory. do i need to go on? christmas can be a time of great joy or great sadness. surely it is wise to understand that and demonstrate what the coming of the christ-child has to offer in that respect. or is that just a bother, like me?

so sick of cheap churchy cliches and sayings, sick that followers of Christ accept them as words from the Master, and even more sick that we think we can win the world by tossing out these cheap stupid sayings that only those on the inside know what the hell they mean anyway.

turn or burn - get right or get left - i've proven the truth to you so now decide your eternal fate - NOW!!!

ENOUGH ALREADY.

new family pics

i'm a sucker for a trial membership to almost anything. the most current one is smugmug. it seems to be one of the best photo sites without having to know much code. go check it out here and let me know what you think.

Pax!

another 23 bite the dust

i was going to say another one bites the dust on thursday when my boss quit but i thought that would have sounded rude, but now that 23 were let go on friday i guess i could have said anything i wanted - anything would have paled in comparison to 23. i must stop my comments at this point...i don't want to be number 24.

well another one of our management team quit today - our executive vp and general manager of kerrville telephone. not real sure what that means for five star or for me personally, but surely it can't be any worse than the way things have been since our vp was fired last april.

christmas tree o' christmas tree

i walked into clay street at lunch today to see the big cross placed aside to make way for the big tree. now don't get me wrong, i most likely will have a tree at my place of worship (my home), i just thought it interesting that this visual really seems to be a metaphor for many things involving the church today. we have processed down our faith to make everything we want to do fit just so nicely within the package. if something doesn't fit, we just do a little adjusting and call it grace.

oh well, maybe one day we will learn to move the tree to put the cross in it's proper place.

christmas in comfort

in case any of you are making a religious (or other significant) trek to the hill country tomorrow, we will be at the christmas in comfort "thing" on saturday. dianna will be making her cakes, deserts, and various crafts along with goods from my in-laws who are equally as talented. of course now that i think about it, maybe that makes sense being that they are all family...hmm...maybe i better go take a nap and sleep on that one.

anyway if you like bubbly bath kinda stuff here is what you might see.

still here!!

ok, just in case some of you are wondering...yes, i am still here.

you ever get in one of those places where so much is going on in your head that you can't stop to write it all out? that's where i am. i have some things i need prayer for. if you'd like to pray then please do. the Father has my requests so just mention me, dianna, or tyler and the Father will know what to do with your prayer. - don't need any calls on this one - really, just some general type of stuff.

on another note - i really want to learn html. i am open to attending classes in san antonio or on-line or whatever. if anyone has any recommendation on where and how to do this please let me know. ok, this one can be prayed for specifically.

breathe deeply! live deeply!

with or without you

ok, so have you ever had one of those dreams where you are sitting in church (or school) in your underwear? you haven't - well, me neither. so let's pretend like we have. anyway imagine if a house could have the same dream. alright unless the dream is a sponge bob cartoon, a house doesn't normally have undergarments, so imagine that the tree is somewhat the metaphorically equivalent item in relation to the house as clothes are to us. ok, this is getting boring - just look at the damn pictures.

house with tree

house without tree

of course i could have also said with or without a lawn, with or without tractor ruts, with or without the $ 500 it took to do this, with or without the broken water lines, with or without the fine from the city for tearing up the street with the backhoe outriggers, with or without the doctor visit to treat a scratched eye from a falling branch. seems like not too long ago i had a similar roofing adventure in which i promised never to do something like this again. where were all of you guys to kick me in the butt to bring that pain back to memory? oh well. i'm about to remodel my kitchen, someone please stop me!

another interesting day in the world of telecommunications as i battle with our HR department in regard to sick pay. it seems that the department of labor rules say you can't not pay salaried (exempt) employees for sick time if in fact you don't pay them OT. imagine that, an employer can't have it both ways. of course do i make an issue of it and get fired in the process or sit and be quiet and take it like a cellmate? hmm, i don't see why the cry for justice has to only involve african AIDS babies that no one cares about. shouldn't justice also include the salaried staff of a company that give their life every day to help someone else achieve their dreams?

detoxing from church

i love readings from emergent missional leaders but most translate to me to be the same old stuff. in all respect to them, i don't write more 'cause if i did i'd write the same old stuff that they are, just most likely not as eloquently or as educatedly sounding, so i don't figure anyone needs to hear my ramblings. anyway, i ran across one yesterday that captured many of my feelings that i hadn't placed on paper and no doubt would not have done as good a job if i had. when you get a second check out detoxing from church by Jason Zahariades of the off ramp. i don't know much about their ministry but hopefully soon will.

blessings and Godspeed to your detox!

ok so i'm at home sick again - i hate it. but it does give me a chance to do a little blogging, so all is not lost. with my trip last week and being sick this one, i've been out of the office for almost 2 weeks straight - cool. i can be a workaholic freak sometimes so for me this was an object lesson from the Father to show me that 1) i can live without going to the office everyday, and 2) the office can live without me going in everyday.

i was just given some great encouragement from a person that really knows me and my heart and it was done using both scripture and a clip from a monty python movie - it gets no better than that. thank you reggie.

the week in recap

- closed on refinance of house on monday
- got sick(er) on monday
- skipped work some monday, tuesday, and all day wednesday (docs orders of course)
- really enjoying time at home with dianna and don't really ever want to go back to work

intermission

i was just interrupted by south park's christian music episode. sometimes we all really need to take a step back and look at ourselves as the world does. probably then we will know why we can't reach them.

spent the better part of last week in chicago at a telecommunications industry meeting. both chicago and the meeting were rewarding. believe it or not, the city was cleaner than most amusement parks, i couldn't believe it, it was spotless. anyway it was kinda encouraging as i was voted to chair the committee to put these events on for calendar year 04. Basically it means 2 guaranteed trips to Tampa, one to Miami and one to Toronto - assuming that i stay gainfully employed within the wireless business. it is fun being a part of a team of other wireless professionals from companies such as verizon, sprint, bell mobility canada, us cellular, etc.

a part from the meeting i had a chance to finish reading more ready than you realize by brian mclaren. this was one of those trips that i wish dianna could have experienced with me.

oh well.

itunes 4.0 for windows! go get it. of course this is one fewer reason to buy a mac. just kidding. mine will soon be on order.

im sitting here in a worship service at clay street with nathan, amy, lora, brad, and stacy. the worship led by nathan was incredible - meaning the music allowed me to go somewhere spiritually that i haven't gone in a while. i am in the middle of a very powerful moment and i am refusing to listen to the sermon because i don't want to let go of this experience. i did not expect this tonight. i love nathan and his ministry through music, and knew he, jeremiah, and carl would be awesome, but it was so much more than that. truly i've been changed somehow tonight.

i just called dianna (my wife) and she told me she had the same experience.

praise to the King.

ok so i am updating a little. before any of you start cracking jokes about me liking joan of arcadia, know that i am not normally a touched by an angel sort of guy. i just happen to think this show has writers that have a brain and so far have not been afraid to show it. i also think it will be short lived with the heavy God content and all. maybe it's just that i have always like the underdog shows and yes i'm still bitter about roswell going off the air after a brief 3 seasons.

karma not what it used to be?

give these digital prayer wheels a shot in case you are more focused on your kama (sutra) than your karma. i should have thought of this sooner. :)

buddhism with a post modern flair??

alrighty, do i have some good news!

little did i know that this lump of coal would soon a diamond produce - nathan will be playing at clay street on the 19th! very likely Jeremiah will be joining him. I am very excited being that the keyboard is my first love and nathan is a master of the art. don't get me wrong i love guitar and i've even filled in some on bass, but the keyboard is a beautiful instrument. i looking forward to this experience.

anyway, survived another week at work, took the family to a restaurant where you throw peanut shells on the floor, and realized that tyler knows the word testicles - although as of yet he can't spell it nor identify what body part this mysterious word actually is.

have fun in the Father - Kerry

i took a vacation day today just to clear my head, and my office, of the junk of the last few weeks. i'm not sure it helped, but it felt good to just laze around the house and finish random projects that were started probably last time i took a day off. actually i finished a video project for my father. part of me really enjoys doing this, the other part of me wanted to proved to myself how badly i need a mac. unfortunately the test was inconclusive, although i still think i need a mac. the video turned out nicely even for an amateur using a PC - of course it will only play on windows media player so then again maybe my test was conclusive after all.

this just in - it's a girl

Trevor and Danyel Carpenter have a new daughter Hope Elice Carpenter, born at 1:20 this morning via C-Section delivery. Mom and baby are both doing well. Hope is 7lb 11oz and 19 1/2 inches. Danyel will remain at Doctors Regional Hospital in Corpus Christi, room 272 until Saturday.

ok, so i survived the meeting yesterday. at one point thought i was going to be promoted and then at one point thought i was going to be fired. it was good and frustrating at the same time and i left with a major headache. when i did leave (which was early) this is what i did - when i get mad i usually make myself busy -

* polished off a bottle of excedrin migraine
* found 2 (more) dead squirrels in my pool
* buried squirrels in back yard (Tyler's idea)
* played soccer with Tyler and let him make up the rules
* played baseball with Tyler using the same rules
* read the latest halloween spongebob book with Tyler (scary on its own)
* cleaned the catbox
* got bit by the cat
* refinanced my house
* organized some old digital pictures
* and watched 2 episodes of south park

now that yesterday is over all i remember is playing ball with Tyler. what a good day yesterday was.

i'm just minutes away from a meeting that could very well determine the future of our company, not to mention mine. we have been begging to have this meeting for abut 4 months now. not that it is expected to be good, just necessary. more later...

on another job note, the phone company laid off 9 more folks yesterday. please be in prayer for the employees here, this is a really big deal.

on an even different note, if anyone has a recipe for a good kitty stew then please forward it to me. i've about had all the abuse i can take from such a small animal.

prayers for reggie and family

reggie, friend to most that read this, is in houston right now to evaluate how much damage his father might have sufferred during a possible stroke. when i last spoke to him there were only questions, no answers. please be in prayer for his father, reggie, and his family.

may the great physician be at work in houston.

a mirrored ball and a keyboard - yes these are some of my favorite things. pic courtesy of the cynic project.

this shirt is courtesy of the kerrville folk festival. may it fill you with all sorts of warm and fuzzies.

well things didn't go so well last night and we ended up not having words or video for any of the songs and at the last minute one of our key people had a family medical emergency. you know, i'm usually the last one to over spiritualize events when they go sour, but last night will be the exception. many folks had put in long hours in preparation and spent the week in a spirit of prayer for this event and the night was still rocky. yet even with all the headaches it was still powerful and we had tons of new folks. hopefully this will only solidify the calling in each of our lives and help us to be solidly committed to the gospel. may we be history makers in our own towns, thanks delirious for the words.

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land. I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind.
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run into your arms, into your arms again.

Yes it's true today that when people stand, with the fire of God, and the truth in hand
we'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing, we'll see broken hearts, making history
yes it's true and we believe it, we're living for you

been thinking a bunch about the cross this week and the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf. it has brought up some weird feelings, the first being that growing up in an SBC church we talked little about the suffering of the cross and the depiction we almost always saw was a bloodless body in a freshly laundered tunic. the most intense of these might have a gaze toward heaven, but even that was a bit radical. this sunday nite at clay street we will try to create some intensity with music and a little video. part of me is excited, the other part knows that some will be offended by the intensity. i guess i feel somewhat sad that we as christians have forgotten how big an offering the cross was, both in suffering and in separation from the Father.

home of the 16 incher

clay street is now the newest home to a 16" mirror ball! yippee! i will refrain from refrerring to it as a disco ball b/c it will not be the star of the show like most venues that use them. at the moment it will be placed in the back where only the wash of the light will be seen across the warehouse. i'm sure it will be moved around to more creative places as the worship dictates, but for this week it stays in the back.

as always i am happy to have one more instrument to use as a worship offering.

gonna spend some money

yippee! i've got the clay street credit card and the afternoon off so i'm going to the music store in SA to buy some stuff. actually nothing major, just replacing some things that were broke. nonetheless Hermes is still my favorite all time indoor amusement park and they have the best souvenirs.

one thing of note, as the father is re-blessing our gathering, the warfare is starting. please be in prayer for the clay street community to react only in love according to the power of the spirit. polish the lens cause the flame in the lighthouse is starting to rekindle.

-amy grant

reason, season, or lifetime

a writing that one of my newest close friends sent to me talks about how the father sends people into your life for either a reason, a season, or a lifetime. when you think about it there is truth to that and it helps make things easier as people come and go in your life or at least in importance within your life. just as we search for organic, real, and meaningful relationship with the father so should we with each other. for me sometimes having these categories helps me to lets folks off the hook when they don't call or email or whatever and hopefully they cut me the same break for distancing myself from them. i am thankful that the father knows what we need and when we need it and he allows people to come into our lives to be him for as long as he purposes.

happy tuesday.

this is how my day has been...anyone know what this means?

We do final GTT for SMS from our STP's to InterOp's SMSC....That means that the MO OPC the SMSC sees is the STP, not the serving MSC.

i spent some time last night walking the monuments in DC. i was really trying to re-connect with everything that 9/11 represented, but really couldn't. there were some folks at the reflecting pool with some candles praying, and some folks just standing in silence looking at the washington monument all lit up in the dark and then there was a 30lb raccoon trying to free himself from his garbage can prison that he no doubt visited frequently for his evening meals. the monuments themselves are powerful, the security folks on detail are powerful to see, being in front of the white house just knowing that dubya might look out and say "hey, thems are folks from texas, let them in" was really kind of neat, but i still don't identify with the enormity of the loss of 9/11. i know there is a lesson in here somewhere, but i'll save that for a later time.

all in all, i love dc. i almost wish that life could be like a video game with multiple lives. if that were possible i'd certainly live one in the dc area and just take it all in. i would love to have continued the conversation i had with my muslim taxi driver this morning where we both said prayers for the other and discussed about how much he loved this country. i would love to learn about the people who believed in something so much that they gave their life in pursuit of it. i'd love to see how you heat a 200 year old house when it's 5 degrees outside. (not that i would live there, i'd have to have central a/c of course).

oh well i'm darn tired so i'm to sleep. before i forget - go get len sweet's new book jesus drives me crazy. it's a quick read and it has some good stuff.

also if you are in the dc area stop off at cosi - it'll make you happy.

i'm going to DC tomorrow to a meeting to discuss wireless number portability - that's where you can switch cell phone providers and keep your same number. it's great for the customer, but a pain in the butt for carriers to figure out. hopefully i'll be able to experience some of the 9/11 remembrance ceremonies. not that anyone would ever forget what happened, but sometimes being so far away it becomes hard to stay connected to such an event. hopefully those feelings will be different this year.

and then sometimes...

ok when is the last time you pieced together some of your high dollar data processing equipment with duct tape, Popsicle sticks and tie wraps? for me it was this weekend after a lightning strike to our facility. not sure what God is preparing me for, but you can be assured that i'll never leave home without Popsicle sticks again. :) K

just got one of len sweet's new books today - Jesus drives me crazy. i always get frustrated when i read his writings 'cause he challenges me to follow the calling in ways that i don't really want to. it's kinda fun to re-do and re-do, just to re-do church once again. after all i've never been quite happy with the bass response of our jbl subs. i think we should purchase twin 18's (really) and some 15's and go to a 4 way Xover setup. then the neighbors would know that we were serious about Christ...how, because we could knock all of their pagan pictures off their walls with our loud christian music. ok, so i'm sure i just pissed someone off by saying that, but when will be stand up, count the cost, and really be messengers of Christ? when will we take the good news to those that need it and not just deliver it to those that show up to our flavor of the day service?

guilty as charged you are! (as yoda would say to me). church is my cocoon, my shelter, my safe place and if anyone comes in that needs Christ, fine, they can ask me and i'll tell them (or send them to an elder, kidding). the point kerry? - i think our family is getting closer to going and telling. not talking about some vacation / mission trip thing, although that may be where it starts - talking bout a sell the house, pack the stuff, hop in a truck and follow God kind of thing. i just don't know where or how or to whom, but the time is approaching.

There was a time when one could almost be afraid to call himself a disciple of Christ because it meant so much. Now one can do it with complete ease because it means nothing at all.
-Soren Kierkegaard

we have been told that we (five star management folks) have a meeting on the 15th to decide some things. please be in prayer that the correct decisions are made. this will probably be the determining factor in whether or not we all stay or begin to look for other jobs. fun!?

less than 4 months til Christmas!!! yippee.

received word this morning that my grandfather passed away last night. i'm sad about that, but really happy for the visit we had about a month ago. we took tyler with us and it seemed that he was the catalyst to make my granddad come alive. it was the first time any of us had seen him smile and laugh in years. we are so grateful for that one last experience - we will certainly talk about it for a long time.

it's a nice reminder that God is a good and loving God.

ok so i decide to work late tonight to try to help some aging company pc's. i'm embarassed to even mention how bad they are being that i have mentioned the new G5 in an earlier writing. anyway, you know the phrase no good deed goes unpunished? well i'm praying that tomorrow doesn't prove that true for me.

have a great day! -Kerry

need money

ok, i know this sounds like a joke, but i am looking for an investor or a company with $25M to buy out a wireless cellular business partnership. seriously if you know someone that may have any interest in something like this please contact me.

really!

i'm considering opening an apple account to purchase a new G5.

i'm having pc problems again. -yuk

this is something you don't see everyday - we took a little trip to amarillo last week and stopped by the infamous cadillac ranch on historic route 66. it's worth a look but you're probably more likely to be abducted by aliens than have a good reason to go to amarillo, that is of course unless you are on your way out of texas to go to the mountains. :)

new day at clay street

i'm getting excited about some changes coming down the line at clay street community. for starters we finally have folks ready to listen to a small group of us and allow us to move according to our convictions and not theirs. although i must say that we have no desire to do anything contrary to the stated vision statement, just carry it out in a little different way. ok, so it's not that different, but at the moment any change is good.

before i write any more i must admit that none of these things are our own, but a resemblance of what those that have come before us envisioned (their links are to the right). part of me is sad that this seems like too little too late and that i could still see nathan, shannon, stacy, and lora each week as i enter into worship, but then i see the austin community that has been developed and i know that they have done so much more for so many more people. anyway all that to say these are idea evolved from their connection with the father and community, not ours.

the big thing i am excited about is the evening format change. currently it is typically 20 mins worship, 45 mins or longer of preaching, and a closing song - standard modern linear design. the first change will be to "limit" to preaching to around 15 or 20 mins, close and then move to a time of food and discussion time. it is very evident that the corporate community has been a big draw and lately we are having to chase folks out of the building long after anything has officially stopped. sometimes then they move to the parking lot or playground and talk for hours. this is the time when meaningful community / ministry can happen and we are missing it. we have been placing all the evangelistic eggs in the sermon basket and truthfully it has been a bad investment (speaking for nite service only - i have not attended a morn service in quite a while).

anyway this is only the first step to get away from the central piece of the evening pie being the preaching part. preachers if you happen to stop by and read this, i mean no disrespect, but for the most part the content is irrelevant even though in another setting it would be received with accolades and it is not presented very well to the audience - just b/c you add a video clip of braveheart speaking about something coming out of his arse doesn't fix all the problems. it just makes everyone remember that they heard the word ass in church and that we showed part of a rated R movie during the sermon.

please pray with us as we strive to allow the father to direct our steps on this journey. we are not bitter young adults trying to cause problems, but are leaders who want to be obedient to help an organization carry out the great commission to a community.

now i have to go clean out my garage. Blessings, kerry

ok so i finally watched queer eye for the straight guy last night. it was actually an enjoyable show except for the fact that i guess you have to be gay to have any fashion sense. hmmm, not sure how i feel about that and i thought that queer was a bad word. oh well, so much for my subscription to GQ.

i did hear a guy on fox news this morning say "be retro - go hetero." hmmm (once again).

:) Kerry

while following endless random links i found this pic on a site. thanks michelle for reminding me how much i used to be an x file fan. btw her site is excellent!

another tylerism

tyler and i went to get ice cream tonight and on the way back he mentioned that the birds have been leaving him a feather in the yard each morning as he goes off to school. how cool and fantastical this is, i thought...until i saw the yard.

you see we have two large bird feeders hanging from the tree in our yard and our neighbor faithfully fills them each morning at dawn (another cool story) and apparently there is at least one neighborhood cat with a full stomach.

have a great week!

i was going through some old files tonight and came across this picture - sorry carl - it was just way too funny. carl is our drummer at clay street and a firm believer that trucks are capable of anything, except swimming.

what stays consistent by constantly changing? i am looking for a name for something. really, this is not a riddle although it could be. email me if you want the full crazy story.

peace and blessings!

yesterday i had a quick visit with my boss that was fired in april and he told me that i should take his old job (sans the general counsel part, he was a lawyer). that was kinda encouraging, but since he got fired doing a really good job (long story) maybe i should just keep to my small part of the world. my job is important, but relatively easy as long as you stay diligent with it. i would love the challenge of something bigger, but truthfully am enjoying the rut which i currently find myself in.

Father change me into a servant worthy of your calling. may i see everything i do as a chance to bring glory to your name.

thank you Father for healing my boy.

mucho stuffo

it seems like a lot of things are going on at the moment, most of which i am excited about. i just forget to write about them - i appreciate the friendly reminders i have received.

first thing! small fry Ty is improving! PTL! if he continues on the trend he is on it looks like another surgery won't be needed. that would be such a boost to us in so many ways. we also want to be clear that any improvement is to the glory of God. we really want this to be a look-what-God-did-in-our-lives kind of thing and want everyone to know that.

di and also had a great visit with nathan on sat and was able to hear him lead worship on sun morning. it made for a great weekend.

more later -K

answer

just FYI for all those that prayed - nick started a new job yesterday that sounds perfect for him. he is an electrical wiring technician at the fredericksburg airport. he is finally receiving the respect that his skills deserve. i am so excited for him. on his behalf - thank you for praying for him.

PAX

back

my pc is finally back up and running. i smoked a power supply last week and have been DOA since. now i have a groovy new case with lights, a see through panel, more usb ports, and a huge cpu fan. my machine may not be a mac but now it looks almost as cool as one (in a rough sort of way).

part of me says that doing good church is too complicated... i think the truth is that WE are too complicated... the truth is simple and always has been. i love nathan's current thread.

had an interesting nite at clay street. i believe now that the hand of providence had us take our leave when we did (last november maybe?) so we ourselves could heal and now maybe help others with their decision to either leave or stay. i hate it that is has to be that way. why can't a good thing just become a great thing, and then even a greater thing? whatever the case, there are folks there that hurt and i am one that hurts no more, so maybe i can be used to help others heal. i never saw this one coming - how great the Father!

something else ~ some folks moved in next door to the clay street warehouse and it seems they don't share the same affections for all the noise we make. this one could get touchy and will need the wisdom of solomon to handle. of course it is also good that 2 of the elders are lawyers. hmmm.

just got back from a few days in orlando. had a business mtg at a place that was connected to universal studios. it was tiring, but a good trip. everytime i go to a place like that i get all excited again about technical stuff. you see one day i will have a "club church" or maybe just support someone with a club-esque ministry. an example would be a light set up like on the video of coldplay's clocks and song's like madonna's die another day. Really. that's my thing and i have a feeling that it could be others' thing as well.

i'll write more about my trip later. i need to take a nap before clay street tonight.

seeking guidance from my spiritual family

i am considering an idea of starting a web site of some sort to link non-profit agencies with needs to people who want to give. the motivation for this is that i believe folks may have "good" stuff they just don't need, but don't realize that someone else out there can be blessed with it. i also have tried to fill out the cumbersome grant requests and make sure all of the paperwork is perfect and i'm just not focussed enough to complete that task.

i started working out the details yesterday while trimming my trees and right after that big branch got me. maybe i should seek the help of a doctor and not a webmaster. :)

PAX - Kerry


btw ~ you may know of a site already out there that does this. if so, let me know and i may turn my resources into helping them.

my buddy nick's new ink - ouch!

tyler is going to be a bike guy. ok by me. maybe i should visit the harley shop this next weekend!

i thought i'd give tyler some credit for helping me dig the pad for his swimming pool. this was much more work than i had expected, but he actually has been more help then i would have guessed. go small fry ty!